Happy Birthday to me! No, not my physical birthday, but my spiritual birthday. Finals week December 2010 was when I decided to repent of my sins and believe in Christ, not the “High School” version or “Cool” version, but really dug deep and believed for the first time on my own. This day has been full of reflection on the past year. Wow. Let's list some of the major “firsts” in 2011:
- Moved out and moved back in.
- I attend a church that does not allow me to stand stagnant in my knowledge of the Lord and Bible.
- I started meeting with a lovely friend who pours her life into me, challenges me (more than I ever imagined) and guides me towards the gospel.
- I stepped foot onto my first Seminary. Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary.
- I was diagnosed with late stage Lyme Disease and I completed a 5 month treatment plan (We will see the results in a few weeks!)
- I started and quit at two Chick-fil-a's.
- I scratched my eye with a piece of sand, resulting in an eye patch while working the front counter at CFA. I even cut the corner of my thumb completely flat also at CFA. That just wasn't my place.
- I spent a summer in Myrtle Beach learning about community and church planting.
- I have discovered what the thrown around church word “quiet time” actually means.
- I got a tattoo! My nose re pierced! And hopefully more to come :) mwaha
- I didn't go to school, then I went, then I dropped.
- I am working on building a foundation to my faith, even if this means reading a kids bible until I understand then I will pursue deeper knowledge. #humbling
- My desire for worship is stronger than ever. Music is so powerful. I will start pursuing the drums again to glorify the Lord.
- I have realized this is not my life to live.
Overall it was a long and definitely a maturing year.
The Lord is just stirring my heart with, “What does it practically look like to lay my life down at the cross and truly make Him #1 ?”
Does that mean I will have a normal college experience of a 4 year school, football, all nighters, constantly fighting the college temptations, stress, ramen noodle diet, or making mistakes that will be funny when I am older?
To be honest I don't think so. Do I wish for the “normal life” experience? Of course. I had no where near to the norm high school routine. I have been at this college thing since August 2009 and I have about 22 credit hours done. I am battling quite the serious disease that has made me realize the importance of my daily walk with the Lord and how not important things of this world are. So why do I think I would want to live a normal life? I have no desire to be married, 2.5 kids, cat, dog, white fence, and be a “house mom”.
When I look back at my life what I see is 19 years of preparation. A life that I have learned a lot from. I am more comfortable not having a stable life, as much as thats what I desire, when I get down to it I wouldn't know how to handle anything stable other than my relationship with the Lord.
My life is preparation to: be willing to go wherever and whenever, not to worry about tomorrow today because tomorrow has enough worries of its own, build relationships pretty fast, adapt to any environment in record time.
I do believe that I will never live a “norm” nor do I want to...and that is perfectly fine with me.
I am so thankful for the season I am in. I don't always think that but actually quite the opposite but when I zoom out and get the big picture why wouldn't I be thankful?
I mean really. If I am comfortable going out like this I don't think I am in the "normal" category. Enjoy :)
