"Grace and peace to you from God our father and the Lord Jesus Christ, who gave himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God the Father, to whom be the glory for ever and ever. Amen"
Galations 1:3-5

Thursday, September 15, 2011

He did not half way die.

I have been really convicted and burdened by the thought of..."What would it look like in 2011 to really lay everything down for the gospel"

My life playlist the past few weeks has been these 4 songs: Blessings, Lifting My Burdens, Awakening, and Beautiful Things. The Lord has been teaching me something different from each song. Blessings has made me realize that it does take me a thousand sleepless night to know that He is near...why does it take such hardship to sometimes make how big God is real in my life?While Lifting My Burdens reminds me that He does lift my burdens but I have to give them him first...I try to be "strong nina" and fix it and go through it alone, why? I also need to set aside intimate time with the Lord...having no agenda other than to pause life and be still to hear his voice. Awakening has reminded me of the passions the Lord has put in my heart from a young age...I want to go, I want to go to the people who won't have a chance to hear the gospel unless I (or someone else) gives up everything to go and make Him known. Beautiul Things reminds me that He is God and no one less...I need to stop putting Him in a box and doubting how great He is. He made man out of dust. wow. the oh so complicated human body he created with dust and his breath.

I guess bottom line is you know my God is an awesome God. I really wonder how my life would look if I gave him everything, every part of my life, and followed His direction. I am 100% confident that He would keep me in his arms but why is it so hard to say yes to that? silly human nature and free will.

If someone were to ask me hey what have you learned through this short journey of Lyme disease thus far? I would say: My life is not my life, my life belongs to the God who gave me life to start with. I don't know I am definitely not happy with how I stand medically and I definitely wish I could go one day without swallowing pills but you know it may just be worth it if this is what it takes for the Lord to grasp my heart once and for all.

Just another favorite song right now:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icLnQhJ8MJc

No comments:

Post a Comment